Old People Can Grow If They Want To

Did you ever wish that your elderly parents would grow in their Christian faith rather than still behaving mostly as they did when you were in high school? It has been my experience that many of us have that wish. I find myself often telling counselees who struggle with their parents, “They probably won’t ever change, but old people can grow if they want to.” The intent with that statement is to help people accept the older folks as they are and learn to love them anyway.

Lately I have been very glad to see that older people can grow if they want to. In the last few months I have personally had some emotional healing as I have gone back into my childhood with Jesus and allowed Him to show me lies and vows that I made when some painful things happened.

What is Gaslighting?

This is not the first time I have gone back with Jesus, but something deeper is going on this time. I went back to an incident in the fourth grade that caused me to doubt myself and set up a subconscious pattern of being easy to trick with gaslighting. Gaslighting is when someone does something that you see, but they tell you it is not what you thought you saw. It is easy to believe that person is right, especially if one is afraid of that person in any way. I did not know how to stand up for myself and the result of that unhealed trauma brought problems.

Sometimes when I grow, it’s not always obvious on the outside at first, but inside the changes are wonderful and hard to put into words. I’m OK if no one notices. But in my heart with Jesus I gratefully await the growth to show up in my actions when and as He chooses.  I’ve told those around me to please let me know in a loving way if I mess up, hurt, or bug them–and my kids have taken me up on it.  We process and return to joy. We know that even when we grow, we won’t be perfect. And that’s OK, too.