Have you ever noticed how easy it is to get triggered by corrections or disagreements? This is especially true if we grew up with toxic shame that sent messages that communicated, “You are bad.” Any hint from another person that sounds or feels like a toxic shame message and defenses will rise up. When that […]
Freedom From How Shame Shapes Us
Shame, along with sad, anger, fear, disgust and hopelessness, is one of the six negative emotions common to all people, joy being the positive one. But this shame is not destructive nor is it what we usually think of as shame. This shame means: “Someone is not glad to be with me right now” Babies are supposed to […]
Joyful Musings on Colossians 1
Colossians 1:24 is not a verse that I’ve heard a lot of teachings on, but off and on since the late 90’s it has been one that I’ve returned to often. Lately I’ve been pondering a little different angle on it. Here is what the verse says: “Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your […]
Instilling Maturity in Children
Most conscientious parents desire to help their children grow into maturity. I would like to suggest some topics that may help parents see this issue more specifically. I will take a short compilation of ideas on maturity from my book, Handbook to Joy-Filled Parenting. We are not raising children, we are raising adults I learned […]
ADDICTIONS: Calming Your Brain When Upset-Part Three
In Part One and Two we talked about the importance of knowing when our relational circuits are on or off and what to do when they are off. Deliberately going to an appreciation moment is the easiest and quickest way to calm our brains when we are upset, enabling us to get our RC’s back on. […]
Thoughts on the ‘Good-Bad Split’
It has been my observation now and then that many parents feel unsure about discipline. There is fear that they will be too strict or their child will be damaged in some way if disciplined. I would like to offer some thoughts on why discipline is good and necessary in spite of what our culture is telling us these days. […]