Some people call it the “dark night of the soul.” My old friend, Dan Stone said it feels like God is off somewhere drinking lemonade. Nothing feels like it used to when the lights were on. Some days the sun is shining, but the Son is mostly quiet. Questions buzz. Thoughts whir. Nothing seems to work. Once in a while, the shadows fade when a little light breaks through.
“I’ve been here before,” I tell myself, “– and on the other side it is magnificent and worth the cost.”
“I know what I know,” I assure myself, “– God is here, in control and He knows what He is doing.”
“Let someone know,” I order myself, “– ask for help. There are many who care and some who can bear to be here. They will help you hold on to truth.”
All things work together for good, I hear Him whisper.
There may be pain in the night, but joy comes in the morning.
I love you. I am Immanuel and I am here. I am working in the dark. Darkness and light are alike to Me.
I am Joy and I am always glad to be with you. Cling to Me. Don’t fret. Feel the feelings. I am feeling all of it with you. We are one.
I want the lights to be on, illuminating the questions, stilling the whirring. That would feel so much better. But for now I believe the Son is shining, even in the dark.
“God can make good use of all that happens. But the loss is real.” C. S. Lewis, Perelandra